Guest Post from Bianca, blogger at The Devil Wears Lipgloss– Are you tired of your current life? Are you in a situation you don’t like anymore? Or, do you feel you’re not the person you were before and want to change your life accordingly? Multiple reasons can lead you to want something more, different, or new. Why not reinvent yourself and get out of your comfort zone?
“Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t,” they say. Well, maybe it’s true, but we get to live just one life, and if your current situation, however stable, doesn’t make you happy, in the long run, you’ll regret staying in it.
The unknown can be scary, but you don’t have to do it all alone, and you don’t have to drop your whole life or career and jump into the void.
In this article, I will explain how to successfully reinvent yourself and get the life you want, gradually and in the safest, most effective way possible.
Five Ways to Reinvent Yourself
1. Follow the “side hustle” rule
As much as leaving your job and follow your dreams sounds like the best road possible, it’s true that you must be realistic, careful, and responsible. However, if you do it cautiously and consciously, you can safely exit the life that doesn’t satisfy you and enter your dream one. How? With the “side hustle” rule.
Usually, what scares people is the leap of faith, foolishly thinking that the only way to reinvent their life is to suddenly drop everything and find the fortune somewhere else. But the solution is more gradual.
As you can imagine, the beginning will be hard. You’re not only working, as usual, for the job you don’t like anymore, or that is stressing you or tiring you too much. You’re also adding additional working hours to dedicate yourself to your side hustle. It’s a matter of will and patience. It can be challenging and frustrating, especially at the beginning, when you might not even see results from the new business. But remember that it takes time for a project to gear, so work hard and be patient.
For the first few months don’t expect anything in return. The money will come, the satisfaction will come, all your efforts will be repaid, but you’ll need to sweat it a little bit. It requires a lot of dedication and consistency. When you start seeing results and getting that extra money (which always comes in handy), the satisfaction is immense. One day, you might reach total independence and finally leave your job and dedicate yourself 100% to your dream business.
2. Dare to change and accept the person you’ve become
Most of the time, what stops people from changing their life is the fact that they’re unconsciously following a scripted routine. This can be a result of the emotional and cultural baggage that they have developed since childhood.
Look inside of yourself, understand what you truly are, what you’ve become, what you don’t feel belongs to you anymore, what changes you went through, how you’ve been labeled throughout your life, and which of those labels don’t feel your own anymore. We change, and we grow, and sometimes it’s difficult to acknowledge and accept it.
For example, think about career labels. We tend to see people for their profession and it’s almost unthinkable for someone to change job because, in the eyes of others, that job is their personality. We are more than our occupation. A job is a job, but what defines us are our choices, character, and attitude. All the rest can change and doesn’t define our worth.
It’s never too late to change your mind, to want something more or different, to throw yourself into something new. If you want it, you got to take action now, but remember taking action might also be just a step. Small steps are also signs of progress.
3. Networking is key
It’s true. In the end, we’re alone in this world, and we need to rely on ourselves. Being self-aware and confident is very important because you might not have any support (although I pray you will) from anyone around you, and that’s ok. It doesn’t take away any value from what you’re doing; you’re the only person that can. But creating your web of contacts will benefit your business, boost your enthusiasm, and motivate you to do better or keep going.
You’ll be surprised at how many nice people that genuinely want to help you will find. People that probably saw their past selves in you. People that understand you, work in your same field and appreciate your efforts.
What is helping me the most to create my contact web are Facebook groups. Search for the ones related to your activity or niche, or whatever issue or curiosity you might have. There are groups for everything, groups where you’ll find people willing to help you solve problems you might be facing, to prompt you when you feel unmotivated, to offer you their services, to collaborate, and so on.
Social media is a hugely powerful resource that, if well exploited, can benefit and give you a lot. I took so many online classes, but the best information and tips I got came from Facebook groups. Give it a try! You might build strong business and even friendship relationships.
4. Stay focused, consistent, and make a to-be list
You don’t just need the initial motivation to reinvent yourself, which is crucial but eventually fades away. You also need consistency and habits—a routine. Those habits will shape, slowly by slowly, the person you will become, and therefore your business.
Create a to-be list
In this regard, you might have already heard someone talking about the famous to-do list. There are so many typologies and techniques to write one that works for you, and you might have also tried already to write one (or more) down. But what you probably never thought of is the to-be list. A to-be list is, essentially, a to-do list but related to the “to be” instead of the “to have.”
When you set yourself an objective, like writing a book, you might want to drop a list of things you need to do to get to that objective. For example, “to finish the book, I need to: research, find an editor and a publisher, write every day, prepare a setlist, and so on.” All these tasks are part of the to-do list and by having them written down in front of you, you’ll have a clear idea of how much work you need to get done and how to divide it.
However, supporting it with a to-be list will make you reach the next level. Think about your objective (writing a book) and then ask yourself: “Who do I need to be to get this done? to reach my goal?”
Maybe you need to be more organized, more open-minded, inspired, energetic, experienced. After you’ve understood the person you need (and want) to become, start writing down your to-be list of things that will get you there.
Create an action plan
Reinvent yourself by creating an action plan based on your to-be list. For example, “to write the book, I need to take a trip to get inspired, follow a course (for whatever skill you need to acquire), keep a journal to write down and understand my emotions, meditate, relax, learn how to be more organized or tidier,” and so on.
Think it through and acknowledge what more you can be to step it up and succeed in your journey. It’s a silly example, but this technique of the double-list will work and help you envision what habits you need to follow to reinvent yourself.
5. Reinvent yourself by ignoring non-constructive criticism
Stepping up and deciding to change, is a brave choice, but it’s something not everyone is willing to face. You might find many people who would never make the choices you made and criticize you for them. When it happens, it hurts. Especially when those judging you are people very close to you.
Your own mother might not support your choices and ideas, so you must stay focus and keep in mind that you’re doing it for yourself. If your life choices aren’t harming anyone, you’re entitled to make them without any remorse.
You, do you boo!
Criticism will always exist. Whoever steps out of their comfort zone usually gets it. Be open to it when it’s constructive. Welcome feedback because it can be a great form of love and support and could help you grow. However, reflect before making it affect how you do your things because some people will just try to tear you down, hiding behind the “it’s for your own good” narrative.
Sometimes negative comments are driven by an unconscious discomfort o misery that they’re going through. Don’t let their frustration and negativity affect your hard work and a positive mindset. Maybe they would never have the courage to do what you’re doing, are envious of your brave choice or your new business, or feel you’re leaving them behind and outgrowing them. Several are the reasons behind a plain negative comment, but they all come from THEIR unease. It’s THEIR problem to solve, not yours.
How to deal with criticism
Whenever I get a negative, non-constructive comment I just take a few seconds to reflect on it. I try to understand why the person said that to me and why I should be unbothered. Sometimes the explanation is simple: “This person is close-minded, and their ignorant comment means nothing to me.”
A lot of people have the habit of commenting about things they don’t know. Don’t let a person who has no idea how to do what you’re doing tell you how to do it, Keep going, work hard, stay focused, and be patient. Satisfaction will come, you will get the life you’ve envisioned for yourself, and it will be sweet.
Can You Reinvent Yourself at 40? 50?
Reinventing yourself at any age is absolutely doable! Don’t be afraid to take the steps you need to build the life of your dreams.
Bianca Brioschi is a copywriter and aspiring costume designer. Born and raised in Milan, she moved to Paris to study styling and journalism. After a difficult period of her life, she learned to properly take care of her body and mind and now wants to help others do the same. Her blog “The Devil wears lipgloss” is the self-care bible she’s creating day by day to make people look and feel good. You can read her skincare, beauty, and self-care articles on:https://thedevilwearslipgloss.com/
Priti S says
Wow, lots to say about this but I’ll pick a few 🙂
About the to-be list, this is similar to a vision board. I’ve heard a businessperson talk about how a vision board changed her life. But she made the point that it’s not about just envisioning. It’s also about taking action with a clear plan.
About the negative comments, one way to counter them and to help people adjust their thinking is to ask questions about their comments such as, “what makes you feel that way?” People who are judgemental are often not logical. So if you get them to try to break down their own logic out loud, they too can start to see that they are being unreasonable (sometimes!). This is not to say we shouldn’t be listening in case they do have really good logic!
Also about the side hustle, I watched a video of a guy who started a sticker business on Etsy. His sales were going up to thousands. But right when he was ready to quit his job, sales plummeted. So there is something to be said for waiting out the side hustle and making sure you have a back up plan.